Happy New Year 2010 + Florida news

I just wanted to wish all of you a Happy New Year 2010! May the New Year bring peace, joy, love, happiness, good health, jobs to those who need one (like me), make new memories, meet new friends, fall in love all over again, find a soulmate if you're looking, be thankful for family, friends, loved ones and hold them dearer to you heart, and better times ahead for all of us! Continue to pray for our service men and women. Happy New Year to my bloggy friends!!

And now here are some funny but true events that happened here in Florida during the past year.

This article was published in The Ledger Dec 30, 2009. I have deleted some of it to shorten the post.
By BRENDAN FARRINGTON THE Associated Press
Published: Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 10:46 p.m. Last Modified: Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 10:46 p.m.
Tampa police arrested a man who let his 12-year-old son drive his SUV so he could drink in the passenger seat.
A Clearwater man was charged with drunk driving after police pulled him over for driving a car with only three tires.
A Marion County deputy pulled over a naked man riding a motorcycle. Turns out the cyclist was drunk.
A Clearwater woman knocked on a stranger's door in the middle of the night asking for cigarettes. She was naked.
A naked 91-year-old Lake Worth man held a 26-year-old burglar at gunpoint until police arrived.
A Fort Pierce man was charged with stealing $22 worth of aluminum cans from a scrap yard and then returning the next day to try to sell them back.

A man tried stealing a live ferret in Jacksonville Beach by stuffing it down his pants.
Reptiles in the news included a 5-foot alligator that escaped during a Panama City elementary school's show-and-tell.

A Land O'Lakes man was bit on the hand when he reached under his car for his dog and found an alligator instead.
Wildlife officers found two alligators being held captive in a Tallahassee apartment. They also found drugs out in plain view after the tenants let them in.
Two men carried a 6-foot shark around Miami and tried selling it to fish markets. After they failed, they left it lying in the middle of a downtown street.
A Tampa police officer used a Taser to subdue a pit bull that chased a chicken into a woman's home.

A Mossy Head woman trying to corral an emu was flown to a hospital after the giant flightless bird clawed her.
A Martin County man accused of downloading child pornography blamed the crime on a cat jumping on his computer keyboard.
The Fort Myers Beach town manager was fired after the town council learned he married a porn star.

The Brooksville city council voted to require city employees to wear underwear.

A 55-year-old Tallahassee man often seen riding a bicycle in a thong was arrested for indecent exposure.
Tampa police say a man repeatedly called 911 looking for sex because it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes.
That was one of many bizarre 911 calls.
A Panama City Beach man called 911 and reported he was robbed of $100 only to admit later that he lied because he was afraid to tell his wife he spent the money.

A man called 911 from a Boynton Beach pay phone several times and complained he couldn't find his keys.

An 18-year-old in Tampa called 911 looking for a ride.
A Fort Pierce woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
A woman sitting on a toilet in a Tampa restroom dropped her gun, which discharged and shot a woman sitting in another stall.

And not to be forgotten:

A Lakeland eighth-grader was suspended from riding the school bus after farting to make other students laugh and badly stinking up the bus.

Glad I'm normal!

Merry Christmas

Hope your trees are trimmed, the presents all wrapped, the baking is done. My Christmas wish for you is peace, love, happiness, and good health. Enjoy the love of your family and friends during this special time as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Merry Christmas to all!

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

Just thought you might want to bake these up for Christmas. (scroll on down) . . . . . . .

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

4 large eggs

1 cup nuts

2 cups of dried fruit

1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one peastoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Who geeves a sheet.

Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas !

Classified Ads

These classifieds actually ran in a Minneapolis newspaper - a smile for your day...

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER 8-years old. Hateful little mutt. Bites!
FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog..able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents/lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one....

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Husband knows everything!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Just wanted you to know that I am thankful for all the people I have met through blogging. You are all over this world. I have been to places I would have not seen if not for you. I have met wonderful photographers, animal lovers, artists who paint beautifully. You always have kind words for us all when you post or comment. Thanks for being my blogging friends. Hope you have a delicious dinner and wonderful times with your families and friends. I am planning on that too!

I am making a squash casserole, a Paula Deen recipe, to take to my cousin's over in Winter Haven. I am thankful for my family. God bless each of you and your families!

Trick or Treat 2009

Just wanted to wish all of you a Happy Halloween. Hope you gets lots of treats and very little tricks. I remember not too many years ago when Meagan was much younger how much she looked forward to picking out a costume and getting a bag full of candy. I really miss those days.

I hadn't bought any treats yet since I was supposed to be going to dinner tonight with my sister for a late birthday. Plans changed due to Halloween and Meagan and Cally are going to a party tonight. Tomorrow we will go for late lunch or early dinner. So that means that now I have to get dressed and go to Wally World for treats for the little ones that may drop by. I love seeing those little kids with treat bags bigger than they are! I carved 1 pumpkin and Meagan did 2 pumpkins. They turned out really cute and tested them out last night.
crazy face jack-o'-lantern -Meagan

Peace Sign Jack-o`-lantern-Meagan's

My Starry-eyed Jack-o`-lantern.

Not too scary!

As soon as the sun starts to go down tonight I will light them up for the kids tonight. Enjoy your weekend!!

October 23, 1951 my birthday

I had a most wonderful birthday today. Went to lunch at Chili's with Meagan and my friend, Maryanne. Tonight was out to dinner with Trish and Jim at the Lakeland Alehouse. After our meal we were served for dessert the biggest brownie with nuts with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, cherries and hot fudge you have ever seen. It was enough for 6 people but the 3 of us worked on it and Jim finished it.

Then shopping with my beautiful daughter, Meagan. We went to Marshall's, Bealls Outlet, Payless Shoes, and Goodwill.

My brother gave me a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers in a coffee can. Over the weekend my sister will take me out to eat again. How many pounds will I gain on my birthday??? I try to eat just half my meal and bring home the rest for later.

Many thanks to all for my most wonderful birthday!! I love all of you!!

Oops, I forgot the most exciting part of my day. I had forgotten what I did this morning! I had to get my driver's license renewed. It went from about $15 to $48 as of October 1st, 2009. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to read the eye chart with my glasses, normally I wear contacts but haven't bought any lately. Now you are required to provide a birth certificate, Social Security card and proof of residence. Before I could take the test I had to FIND my birth certificate and Social Security card. Do you think I could find them, why HECK NO!! Sooo off to Bartow I went to buy a copy of my birth certificate for $15 and then to the SS office which had moved from downtown to way south of town but I didn't know it had moved until I went where I thought it was only to find out it had moved to a new building way south of town. I had to apply for a replacement card which I will receive in about 10 days but they did give me a receipt which the DMV accepted as proof. I also had to take a proof of residence. YES, I did get it renewed for 8 years I think.

Feeling frisky!!

It may not quite look like this yet outside but does it ever feel great! No humidity!!! Yippee, yippee!! Hoping frost is just around the corner!

The dogs are so frisky tonight, running around the yard, having a good ole time!

It will be in the 50s tonight and I am sleeping with the windows open and the fan blowing on me too. Hot flashes ya know! Hope it hangs around for awhile, the weather not the hot flashes!

Today Meagan and I went to downtown Lakeland farmers market to buy tomatoes and cukes. I only bought tomatoes there. It was so crowded downtown due to a Classic Car Show complete with hot rods. The classics are parked around our beautiful Lake Mirror and the hot rods are parked on the streets around historic Munn Park. They blocked off the streets so parking was hard to find. Those were the days of muscle cars and rock n roll. Kids today don't have a clue as to what a good time is really is. The classic cars are the most beautiful, when cars were cars, Duesenbergs, Rolls Royces, Cadillacs, touring cars, model Ts, the list goes on. I was going to do the walk but wore the wrong shoes, it will be back next year and I will be looking forward to it again. I took my Father once or twice, he showed me cars they had growing up in the 20s and 30s. Since he has passed on I just don't enjoy it as much. I loved to hear him tell of his childhood in Maine.

Then we traveled north of town to a new fruit n vegetable stand. It was crowded, they had BBQ chicken and rib dinners for sale, picnic tables to eat on under the big oak trees. A big tractor was pulling a wagon giving rides to the kids. Meagan noticed some cute guys and wants to go out there every weekend now! Music was playing, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. They had some nice pumpkins, didn't buy one there though. I am looking for that perfect one for carving my Halloween jack o lantern.

I bought okra for frying or maybe okra and tomatoes, eggplant, little salad cucumbers, kiwi, baby new red potatoes/creamers, cajun boiled peanuts so spicy they plumped up our lips real nice like we had gotten injections! I forgot to get an avocado. Do you like avocado?

Next Saturday is the Fall Festival uptown at Munn Park with beautiful plants and all kinds of stuff. The fall Parade of Homes kicked off today and goes thru next Sunday!! Just selected homes are on display and most of them will knock your socks off, so beautiful! We have done this for years and always look forward to this tour. Some homes are remodeled and they look just as great as the new ones. We have so much fun, hope the cool weather hangs around til next Sunday anyway!

Welcome back, Paula

Hey everybody we need to welcome Paula at Pughugs back to the blogging world. She retired her old blog Pughugs and has started a new blog. It can be found at www.pugmoon.blogspot.com , you know I don't know how to link stuff but will learn one day. So put up with it for now please! Paula is mom to Paisley, who just had a birthday today and Smokey and Bandit.

8 year survivor

As we all know October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I want to share my story with you. I apologize for the length. This is the condensed version.

On this date 8 years ago I found my lump. It was on a Saturday night and I remember it well . I was watching TV and something told me just to feel this particular spot. And there it was! It wasn't painful but I knew it didn't belong there.

On Monday I was going to call the doctor but had plans to go with my daughter and friends to Webster. Webster is home to a great farmers market with lots of really neat junk. Nothing was going to spoil my trip!

Tuesday morning I did call my doctor. I was given an appointment for Thursday. He examined me and scheduled me for a mammogram. One out of eight women will get breast cancer, those are the grim statistics. Guess what??? There were 8 of us in the waiting room and guess who got called back? Me, of course! I was the one out of eight.

My journey with breast cancer began. I had to tell my 11 year old daughter that her mommie had cancer. It broke my heart. I was so afraid but went through all of it a with a big smile and great attitude and much much prayer and so much love and support from family and friends.
I had a lumpectomy Nov 29 then another lumpectomy when I had the port put in Feb 2002 because I found another lump before beginning chemo. I had almost a 4 month wait to begin chemo and really don't know why it took so long. I got 6 rounds of a chemo cocktail consisting of 5-fluorouracil, Cytoxan and Adriamycin aka the red devil. Then 38 radiation treatments which included 5 super blasts called boosts. I took Tamoxifen for 2 1/2 years then have been on Arimidex since, will take it for 5 years. I had cancer it didn't have me became my new motto. Checkups every 6 months now.

My friend shaved my head when I started losing my hair. My sister cut her hair so super short and my brother buzzed his head. My Daddy asked me if my head got cold at night. My Mama looked at me funny, she was in failing health herself and sometimes I don't think she understood what was going on with me.

That was 8 long years ago and I sometimes forget I ever had cancer. I still have my port and will keep it til it gives me trouble, there is no rush to take it out. I actually think God should make us with one of them already built in. They are GREAT if you can imagine such a thing. I do tend to freak out a little when it come to my 6 months checkup, worrying about my tumor markers.

January 2009 I had the BRCA test done. This is a genetic test to see if I carry the breast cancer gene. It's only done by one lab in the world and it's in Salt Lake City, Utah. Very expensive and usually covered by insurance if your oncologist makes the request. My mother and her sister had breast cancer, my maternal grandmother had pancreatic cancer so he thought this a very good idea. I DO NOT CARRY THIS GENE!!! If Meagan gets cancer I didn't pass it on to her or any other member of my family.

I thank God everyday for my life, for healing me and God continues to keep me cancer free.

Please get your mammograms and do self exams!! Wear pink this month, I actually like pink now, didn't use to. Pray for a cure!

Girls Night Out!!!!

Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.
She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.
The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:
"These girls nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"
"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'

Pro Bass Shop

Another funny email I had to share. Just to get your week off on the right note!

Blind Bass Pro Shop Salesperson

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'

He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.'

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.

She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!'

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. 'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.

At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted.

Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.'

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?'

He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but . . . the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.'

Have a great day!!!

Friday Update

Another funny to end this week! Not much happening here, haven't heard back from any job applications yet, what else is new huh??? Supposed to have rain this weekend, that is okay just wish it would cool off a bit. My pug, Fuji, was real sick earlier this week, took her to the vet. He told me her heart isn't beating correctly, she has a heart arrythmia. Got to get her over this bad cold she has first and then see what to do about her heart. Trying to keep her cool and relaxed. She is breathing better and will be 11 in a month. Her appetite is back. She is Queen Bee around here and always barking orders! Have a great weekend! Enjoy the funny below! I actually do not suggest doing this! This is an email someone sent me! Just a joke I hope ya know!

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. So he cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some 'Nair' hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some Nair' hair remover.
At the register the druggist tells her, 'If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days.'
The lady says, 'I'm not using it under my arms.'
The druggist says, 'Well if you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days.'
The lady says, 'I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer.'
The druggist says, 'Stay off your bicycle for a week.'

The fence

Had to share this e-mail with ya'll..please don't think bad of me but I really needed a laugh today! Hope this gets your weekend off to a good start!

Old Timer Sex

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well..'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is..

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together.. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

You won't believe!!

I got turned down for 3 jobs this week. 2 at Lakeland Regional Medical Center, the fancy name for our hospital, for patient access representative and 1 at Watson Clinic for security guard/hospitality hostess. I'm pretty sure I could check someone into the hospital or push them around in a wheelchair or drive the tram out in the parking lot at the clinic.. Guess these HR people don't know me very well!

I have to have 2 teeth pulled on Monday, it was supposed to be this last Wednesday but my BP was too high. I wonder why??? Maybe cause I was having 2 teeth pulled??? I also forgot to take my BP meds that morning. The dentist told me to go home, take my meds and be back at 3pm. When I went to start my car it was dead, nothing, zip, nada. Had to call Meagan at work, she picked me up and I took her back to work. Came home, took meds, went back at 3pm and BP was still the same! Come back Monday, she said and we will try again. Since my car was dead, had to have it towed to the shop. Thought it was the alternator gone bad again but was only the battery cable broken in two. So it only cost me $30 instead of the $200 I thought it might be.

Yesterday I was online taking a test for Publix when a Verizon tech put my phone out while working on the neighbor's phone which was out. Lost my internet connection and fouled up my test. He left my phone out when he left, I only had express dial tone and no one could call me either for over 24 hours. Had to call repair from the edt and they told it would fixed by 8pm tonight. It was back in service by 230pm today. I called Publix this afternoon after I had a dial tone and she said they had sent me an email telling me I would be able to finish taking the test. Wish me luck and pray for me. The rest of the test is on Microsoft Word, Access, Excel and Data entry. I will do that Saturday morning. Even if I pass doesn't mean I will get a job but I did make it far enough to take the test. I thought that was pretty good.

How was your week??

Important Women's Health Issue

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas.

However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

Dizziness

Nausea

Vomiting

Incarceration

Erotic lustfulness

Loss of motor control

Loss of clothing

Loss of money

Loss of virginity

Table dancing

Headache

Dehydration

Dry mouth

And a desire to sing Karaoke!!

WARNINGS:

The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Have a great weekend!! I may have to get me one or two of these! WAIT, I'm on prescrip pain meds and antibiotics right now as I have a serious toothache and infection. Will most likely be having 2 teeth pulled next Wednesday cause I can't afford a root canal, crown and a bridge to make it pretty!

At a loss

That sweet, sweet Linnea asked me where I had been lately. In a quandry, mostly. Out of my mind, too! I was going to post my outrage at my Lakeland Electric bill, the most recent one. Normally our meter is read every 28 days but this time it was 40 days. Over 63,000 customers have humongous bills, me included! I haven't found a job yet and unemployment isn't that much to help pay this bill. I could pay it but would have 0 left over to get me thru 2 weeks.

Now I'm at a loss. I lost one of my very closest friends Saturday morning. Cause of death will be a heart attack. Her husband thinks her new meds did it. She went to the hospital last Sunday, not feeling too good and difficulty breathing. Diagnosed with congestive heart failure, released on Wednesday afternoon. I called her, she told me they sent her home with 7 prescriptions. She had an appointment on the 12th next week to see the cardiologist. She took the meds on Thursady and started feeling very bad , went to the ER and they said she had indigestion and sent her home. She did not take her meds on Friday. Saturday morning she ate her cereal and took her meds. She started feeling bad, things got worse and 911 was called. They resuscitated her 4 times and flatlined each time. The doctor in the ER worked on her for an hour and could not bring her back. My wonderful, beautiful friend was gone.

She told me me tht she hadn't been feeling so good since January and had been to the doctor. She gained 30 pounds since January and this was obviously due to the CHF. She leaves a husband, 2 daughters, stepson, stepdaughter and several grandchildren. We did so many crazy things together. I went to see my first Chippendale knockoff dancer. I went to a biker bar and played darts. It wasn't that wild of a place, after all it was next door to a gas station. She gave me a baby shower. So many fun times at work and many long talks. She had the best laugh and a great smile. Her husband and her had just planned to take a 3 week trip on the motorcyle and go wherever the wind blew them. They were working really hard on their marriage. Her youngest daughter, Allison, 17, will be a senior when schools start and just made captain of the cheerleading team. She kept her grandaughter since Samantha couldn't take care of her. She became a new Mama again. She was full of life and energy.

She was let go from her Verizon job after 30+ years of service. In the past few years she was a supervisor. They are cutting back drastically, letting craft and management go left and right. She was under a great deal of stress, she smoked and did imbibe. She was diagnosed several years ago with cardiomyopathy, inherited from her father who died from that. Her brother has it and her sister was recently diagnosed with it. Cardiomyopathy and CHF don't make a good combo plus she had high BP which was being treated. Her husband told me he was going to pursue the meds aspect, sounds like a good idea to me.

I am at a loss for everything at the moment. Numb, sick, sad, empty. Vicki was 50 years young.
I will miss my friend, her laugh, her smile, her craziness. My friends mean so much to me and all of you in bloggyland included. Goodbye Vicki!!

Funny for Thursday

Short Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people,found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. ............'Get your own darn blanket.'

After a moment of silence, .....................he farted.

The End

Creepy, Yes or No??

They say this kid, Omer Bhatti, is Michael Jackson's first child born in 1984, now 25 years old. He sat on the front row at Michael's funeral with Janet and LaToya and the rest of the Jackson family.

He is supposedly a love child out of a one night get-together with a Norwegian woman possibly. Elizabeth Taylor introduced the woman to him but she is not saying who the woman is.

He has lived in Norway for many years but had been seen on occasions at Neverland Ranch.

I think this kid has already had plastic surgery at a young age, kinda looks creepy.

Don't get me wrong, I like his music but he was very strange to say the least!

What do you think??

Happy Birthday, Meagan

Meagan Michelle Walker was born 19 years ago on the 11th of July in 1990.

She weighed 9lbs, 8oz. If I had made it to the due date, she would have been over 10lbs. She was delivered by c-section a few days ahead of time. The ob said she would never fit thru the birth canal. My hips weren't big enough, sure could have fooled me. I guess that is because I see them from the outside and he was looking inside! She had a perfectly shaped head due to the c-section, no conehead for our long awaited little one. Seems like yesterday and now she is young woman.

I had no idea what to do with a little baby then and still don't know what to with a young woman. I have to let her explore the world but it's a GREAT BIG SCARY WORLD out there now. I can give her guidance and offer advice but ultimately she has to make the right choice. I want to keep her safe and close to me. Thank you God for my miracle baby. I had 2 previous miscarriages early on and never thought I would have another child. I had been married 8 years when I got pregnant with Meagan. I had her at 38, my husband was 42. I had never seen him happier.

Happy 19th Birthday, Meagan!!! God bless you!

Love , Mama

You got skeeters?

This is kinda what I look like when I go outside with the dogs in the backyard. I have on more clothes and I am a female, but you get the picture. Usually I try to remember to coat myself with OFF insect repellent or Cutter Skinsations. They are ready to get you as soon as you open the door. I spray around the door inside and out. I am going to call mosquito control and see if they will spray in our neighborhood. Years ago they sprayed on a regular basis, guess our town grew too big so now you have to call. I dump out water in pots, etc where they might breed and put mosquito dunks in the birdbath. Kills the larvae but won't harm birds or animals. You got skeeters?

I ams just waiting for the first cold spell to kill them back. HA HA!! From now til then I will be slapping and swatting and spraying! Oh, let's not forget itching and scratching!

Libby taught me something new!

My very dear friend, Libby, taught me how to add pictures from Google to my blog. These beautiful flowers are for you Libby!!

Now it won't be quite so bland, it will have color and imagery. Then if Meagan, my at home computer guru, will help with photos I can show you my 4 legged furry friends and other things.

Thanks so much, Libby!! Next time we will tackle the here link. This is all the learning I could handle tonight!

Happy 4th of July, USA

My pets and I want to wish each and every one of you a Happy 4th of July as we celebrate the birthday of the United States of America!

Have fun BBQing, picnicking, swimming, boating, fireworks, sparklers, whatever you do to celebrate this glorious day!

It's too stinkin hot where we are to be outside and you can't do those things inside for sure! Then there are the mosquitoes, they lie in wait just waiting for you to open the door and they dare you to come outside. I cover myself with insect repellent from head to toe, hoping I didn't miss a spot! Then the attack begins, they are buzzing everywhere and with all the rain we've had I think they are worse now.

Enjoy your 3 day weekend, they don't happen often enough! Play safe and have fun!

Please stop by

My cousin Trish's daughter, Alyssa, has started a cooking/baking blog. For some of the best looking and tasting cinnamon buns on this side of heaven please drop in on her. She has photos of the whole process from start to finish and the end result looks mighty pleasing to the eye! I can smell the aroma of cinnamon filling the whole house while they are baking.

My blog assistant is not here to help me link to here so go to www.thebakingbandit.blogspot.com and see for yourself those great buns! Give them a try and let her know what you think. She would appreciate the comments.

What A Week!!!

I may have posted the funny listed below before, if so I'm sorry. I just needed help with getting a smile on my face this morning! I had a very rough last week. Meagan had foot/ankle surgery last Friday. She has 2 very large incisions on the inside and outside of her foot. She had 2 surgeries on the same foot. On crutches for the moment then either a cast or walking boot for 6 weeks or more. I'm her private duty nurse, chef, chauffeur, etc until she can get back to normal . Absolutely no weight on that foot, what a balancing act that is! Terrible dog fight one day. Just a bad week no matter how I look at it!! My sister really told me off in an email. So here is to next week and better days ahead!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write ' For Marijuana'.

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the FRONT Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Hope this Public Service Announcement has been helpful in bringing many smiles to you!!

Goodwill and Gidget, the new Pug

Yes, Libby and I went to the Goodwill last week. She bought so many cute things for herself and 2 of her grands. We then went to Sonny's BBQ for pulled pork sandwiches, hers on garlic bread and mine on a toasted bun, both then slathered in BBQ sauce, plus crinkle fries and cole slaw. It sure hit the spot after all that shopping. Let's not forget the really big drinks we had, too. Iced tea with lots of lemon and Libby had root beer. It was so stinkin' hot that day and even in the store. We both were just drippin' with sweat. The big iced drinks just hit the spot! I thought I did so good not to get any sauce on my shirt. Then I stood up and there it was, in 2 big spots. Went to the ladies room to wash it out. HA HA, not with that soap, I needed grease remover!!

Her daughter Steph called to see if we were still there at the store cause she was looking for an entry table. By now Mr. Steve had joined us, so back to Goodwill we go. No table, so we then went to Salvation Army Thrift Store. Nothing there either, although she found a few more things for the kids. They were going to Wal-Mart but I went on home. I had something VERY important to do!!

I called my friend's niece to meet me so I could pick up Gidget, the pug. I grabbed a harness and leash and took off to Winter Haven in my rickety old car. I knocked on the door and the dogs all greeted me. Gidget was so scared. It was all we could do to get the harness on her, she was too big and it was too little. She had an accident on the kitchen floor cause she was so scared. It was heartbreaking to take her from her home and her 4 other dog companions. Cindy won't be able to be on her own for some time and her sister told her she has to find homes for the dogs. She wanted me to have Gidget since I have Fuji, a pug also. We went to the car and she hopped right in and we then headed home.

More about Gidget very soon!!

One more thing on my mind...is anyone else having trouble viewing blogs, for 3 weeks at least when I go to another blog, I almost immediately get a box with an error message from Internet Explorer saying it can't open,etc and shuts it down. It takes several tries and then sometimes I still can't view a blog. So I am trying to read all of your enties but sometimes I just can't.

Yippee Yippee

I just got a call from Libby. We were just yakking away and she asked if I had been to our favorite store lately. I told her no. She said " Do you want to go tomorrow?" I then asked are you coming down?? Boy, talk about a SURPRISE!!! She was already here! DH will drop her off at 1030am on Tuesday and lookout Goodwill cause here we come! I asked if she brought along a U-Haul?

Libby and her DH had come down the other day, they had been visiting their parents in North Florida and came on down the rest of the way to Winter Haven. I am so happy I just might have to do the Happy dance!! Wish all of you could be here with us. We would have a blast!

Happy, Happy Happy, that's me! I really needed this great surprise from my wonderful friend!!!

Ralph and Edna

My sister sent me this e-mail this morning and thought I would share for a Monday funny! The rain seems to be gone for the moment and we are back to SWELTERING!!

The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna 's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ' Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself; I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Today is Mental Health Day! You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend...

Help??? Dog Dilemma

Last Saturday night my very good friend Cindy and I were talking on the phone. She sounded very sleepy, words slurred. She told me she had taken a sleeping pill cause she was very tired. She told me she had been drooling all day out of the left side of her mouth. I should have told her to call 911 that very minute but I didn't even though I was very concerned. I just attributed her symptoms to being so very tired.

On Sunday I called her at work. She works the info desk at the Winter Haven Hospital. The lady who answered told me Cindy was in the ER. I said no, she works the desk. She said no, she is in the ER. After 4 phone calls, I found out they were taking her to a room. When I finally talked with her, she said she had had a mini stroke. When she got to work Sunday at 11am, no one could make sense out of what she was saying, all garbled and gobbledy gook. She told them she was going to go home, they made her go to the ER. Thank God!! She had another stroke sometime during Monday night. This was all caused by the fact she has diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure. She had been a ticking timebomb the neurologist told her after CAT scans and MRIs.

Meagan and I went to see her today. 2 weeks ago Cindy and I were at our GTE reunion luncheon. We were laughing and having such a good time. Today was a whole different story. Her stroke was on the right side of her brain so it has affected her whole left side. She is in the rehab unit now getting therapy several times a day. The doctor told her he thought she would be back 100% but it will take time. She wants it to happen now and I reminded her it will take time. She has suffered major trauma to her brain and body. When she is discharged from the hospital she will go her sister's to stay for the time being. I really don't know if she will be able to go home to live by herself. She told me she wants me to take care of her when she gets to her house.

This is the dilemma. She has 5 little dogs at home. Her family is helping take care of them now. She has 2 Schnauzers, a Chinese Crested powder puff, a Pug and her son, a Schnug. She told me today she will have to give up her dogs. She will be at her sister's for some time, the sister has 4 dogs of her own. Today she asked me if I wouid take Gidget the Pug. I had to hold back the tears and she had tears in her eyes, too. Cindy loves her dogs so very much and she hates being away from them. Her Gidget is a jealous little pug and so is my Fuji the pug. Both are bossy. Will they all get along??

I told Meagan tonight we would take Gidget on a temporary basis till Cindy can take care of her once again. As for the other dogs, her niece has Lucy the powder puff, her brother may take one of the schnauzers but that still leaves 2. I hate to see them split apart, they have been together for years ! I have 6 of my own, I need to find someone to take the others. Libby where are you when I need you!!

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Hooray, it is Friday and that means a 3 day weekend for most everyone. The Today show today just made the statement it's the official start of summer. Newsflash!!! If you are in Florida, it started about 7 weeks ago. Actually I believe summer starts June 21 or in that vicinity. I think she meant to say it is the kickoff for the summer season.

This is our 11th day of rain in a row! I got a new neighbor the other day. The house has a very large workshop that goes with it. He has been hauling in loads of wood from the local lumberyard. And lots of animals, two by two. He has a wonderful wife who loves animals and 2 helpful sons. I hear lots of hammering and sawing going on all hours of the day and night. I noticed a dove circling, looks like she has an olive branch in her mouth. I went over the other day and introduced myself and so did he. His name is Noah and he is building an ark! That is just how much rain we have had. It's wonderful and eveything is so green. The Aquifer that runs under Florida should be close to being replenished I would think. We really need the rain, the lakes are so low and the lawns were so brown and crunchy. We have definitely gotten our money's worth! Thank you God for this rain!

Have a great weekend and remember to honor those who gaves their lives for us and our country in all the wars over the many decades on Monday, Memorial Day.

P.S.
I do have 3 sets of new neighbors but none named Noah that I am aware of!

Happy Mother's Day

I just wanted to wish all of you out there in blogland all over the world a Happy Mother's Day. I don't know all of you personally but in my heart I really feel that I do! Each of you mean a great deal to me. It's nice to know I have so many wonderful friends that care about me and vice versa, no matter what is going on in our lives, from the serious to the mundane to the hilarious. Have a wonderful and very blessed day! Enjoy yourselves!!

To all you wonderful women

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands.'
The angel was astounded at the requirements. 'Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.'
'But I won't , ' the Lord protested. 'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.'
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. 'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'
'She is soft,' the Lord agreed, 'but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'
'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.
The Lord replied, 'Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.' The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. 'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.' 'That's not a leak,' the Lord corrected, 'that's a tear!' 'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.
The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed. 'You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.' And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take 'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

If you like pineapple, try this!!!

If you like pineapple you might want to try this cake recipe. I have been wanting to share this for awhile just kept forgetting about it. I've made this cake several times for get togethers and they just about lick the pan clean, they manage to get every last bit of icing. Hope you try it sometime! I just might make one this weekend. The kitchen smells so good while this is baking in the oven. Just be sure the cake is thoroughly COOLED or the icing will melt. Be sure you don't drain the pineapple. I shared the recipe with Sharon at the Queen's blog for her luau themed birthday party this past weekend. Haven't heard if she made the cake or not. So easy! Enjoy!! Wishing everyone a fun filled weekend!!

PINEAPPLE DREAM CAKE
• 1 box yellow cake mix
• 1⁄2 cup oil
• 3 eggs
• 2 20-ounce cans crushed pineapple — undrained
• 1⁄4 cup water
• 1 8-ounce tub of Cool Whip
• 2 small packages of instant vanilla pudding mix

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Lightly grease a 9x13 cake pan. Set aside.
Mix cake mix, oil, eggs, water and one can of crushed pineapple in a large bowl until all the ingredients are blended.
Pour batter into the cake pan and bake for 40 minutes or until a knife comes out clean.
Let cake cool in pan completely.
When the cake is cool, make the frosting.
With an electric mixer on low speed, beat Cool Whip, pudding mix and the other can of crushed pineapple.
Beat for about 3 minutes, making sure the pudding mixture has been fully disolved.
Spoon the topping on the cake in a thick layer.
Chill in the refrigerator before serving, or serve immediately.

Sassy update

I have an update on my little Sassy. Her appetite has picked up tremendously, simply amazing! She wanders into the kitchen to see what I'm fixing for her. The antibiotics seem to have made her feel so much better. She is still a little wobbly, I think that is due to neurological damage from the little seizures. At this very moment she is gobbling up Solid Gold Wee Bit dry food, made with fresh bison and other good stuff for her. She usually has hamburger a little on the rare side or fully cooked chicken cut up in tiny bites, no rare chicken for me or my animals. I tried baby food and she wanted no part of that stuff. She did like the canned cat food liver and chicken. Her ribs don't seem to be showing anymore. Her little tail wags all the time. I need to weigh her on a digital scale to see how many ounces she has gained. Due to my wonderful, loving 24 hour care I think she is on the mend and will be with me for a little while longer. Many thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers!!

Florida is really starting to warm up very quickly. The mornings are still cool but after luch it gets a little sticky. I am really going to miss the cooler weather.

Meagan, my daughter, works at the Covenant Presbyterian Child Development Center. One of the little boys, Kade, brought her a gorgeous bouquet of store bought spring flowers today with a note attached with a hand drawn heart and he signed his name in 4 year old writing. All those kids really love her! That made her day!

Haven't been able to see much of Libby, saw her last Thursday, maybe next week will be better. I'm having car trouble again so I'm pretty much limited to where I can go.

TATA for now!

Cheaper Health Care

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include"Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.

Interesting News Item...NOT

This was in the news the other day. Have you ever heard of this lake ?? They say it has been spelled several different ways over the years.

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchaugg-agoggchaubunagungamaugg

Who knows how to pronounce this and where is it located!!

It is located in Webster, Massachusetts and is called Lake Webster for short.

Do you think it is the correct spelling? Do you really care?? Neither do I!!

Now you learned something new today, is it significant....... NO!!

The Hazards of Hunting

This was just too funny not to share with you.

He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged ... shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.'Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot...
'What's the bad news?' asked the hunter.
'The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister.
''Well I guess that isn't too bad,' the hunter replied. 'Is your sister a plastic surgeon?
''Not exactly.' answered the doctor. 'She's a flute player in the Syracuse Symphony. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye.'

Monday's funny

I needed a laugh this morning and here is what my dear friend sent me.

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,"Father, what causes arthritis?
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Go read this!!

Head on over to Meagan's blog, http://www.themooseclub.blogspot.com/. Please remember I am blog challenged so I can't just type here for you to go to. She has a new post finally about our other boxer. We had him several years ago and now he waits for us at The Bridge. He was a beautiful brindle and had the best personality. All boxers have great personalities and are big kids til their dying day. A great tribute to Chancer. I am always calling Blitz, the boxer we have now, Chancer. They are alike in so many ways!

Been there, Done that

The Naked Truth..... and here it is!!!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors.
Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.
You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.
In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"
Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time).
That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted.
You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, Always Lifts You Up, Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

I needed a laugh today

I'm off to the vet to get antibiotics for Sassy. I'm going to try that before doing anything else. Her WBC was high indicating infection somewhere so if it will help her I'm going to try. She is eating somewhat better, still weak though. I am also considering the seizure medicine. It's possible she has some brain damage due to the small seizures. I just don't what to do. She has good days and not so good days. She is alert and knows who I am and aware of her surroundings. The tech recommended I try Science Diet A/D full of iron and vitamins, used for very ill dogs such as after surgery or being hit by a car. On a much lighter note, read on below.

Vaseline Survey:

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?'
She says, 'Yes, my husband and I use it all the time.'
'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
'We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all... We put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'

And you thought it was going to be a dirty joke! Shame on you!!!

To get your week started

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says - something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go a long.
3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr- Alt- Delete' and start all over?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called 'labor!'
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Ponderisms:
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

But Most Of All, Remember!
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway!

Happy Easter

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has
become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny,and he is DEAD . The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of
the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," ! he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."
The blonde says,"Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.
The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands,"What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny ?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..Are you ready for this? Are you sure? You know you're gonna be sorry. Last chance!!OK, here it is..........you asked for it....


It says, Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.

Happy Easter!!!

Telephone trouble

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning......thought you'd like to know.

Speaking from experience

Becky here, as I speak from my very own personal experience, this could easily be my story. I even did electroloysis, drank several beers and took about 4 Tylenol before I went to see Doreen for this procedure. In the end I found Stella, the wonderful Colombian woman who is not only my hair stylist but my personal waxer and friend, all in one! It was embarassing the first time but after that, it was a breeze! BTW, The Epilady is a medieval torture device, trust me!!

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.Read on..........

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.(YA THINK!?!)So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.("Cold wax,yeah...right!") I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad I can do this!Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. SEALED SHUT!!!!MY BUTT IS SEALED SHUT!SEALED SHUT!!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself " Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???WRONG!!!!!!!******I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter......"So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!!I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE....... ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color.....

I want you to meet Sassy

This is my little darling, Sassy. All 2.44 lbs of her. Meagan took this photo today Monday afternoon. She is laying on my chest. Today's talk with the vet is below in case you haven't heard the latest.. Thanks for all your well wishes, warm, loving thoughts and heartfelt prayers for us. I love each and everyone of you! God Bless you!

Becky and the gang

A decison to make

I dreaded going to the Vet this morning. I took Sassy with me. I met with the Vet and he went over the results with me. Her kidneys are normal, liver normal, white blood count is high probably due to her cold or maybe a bad tooth, all the other tests seem to be pretty normal too. He thinks it is her heart, not pumping enough to circulate thru her body. He can give her an antibiotic for the infection, he can give her meds for the epilepsy/ seizures but can't fix her heart. I have to look at her quality of life and she basically has none. She wants to be in my arms all the time, the tech said it was the comfort I give her. The vet said I have to think about my quality of life too. I could spend oodles of money and still not be able to make her well, like the former Sassy. I have a big decision to make and know what I need to do. This should be cut and dried. I shouldn't have to think about it, she is suffering but not in pain. I just love that little dog so much! I'm still praying she will go without the vet's intervention. I don't want her to die in a stranger's hands. I'm going to ask if I can hold her while he administers the dose. Some vets don't allow this. Maybe I'm not strong enough for that either.

Meagan and Moose

Meagan, my daughter, has a jumped on the bandwagon and started a new blog. Please visit the antics of Meagan and her dog, Moose, at http://www.themooseclub.blogspot.com/. She has taken photos of her dog but won't take any photos of my dogs for me. Moose is one wild and crazy dog! I think he ate my bar of handmade doggie soap that I paid $5.00 for. It was on the window ledge and I opened the window and heard something fall, not even thinking about that bar of soap. Well now I can't find the soap. So if I see him blowing bubbles out his butt, I will know where it went! Or any of the dogs blowing bubbles for that matter, but Moose is the only one goofy enough to eat soap!

I meet the Vet at 11am Monday. Will let you know the outcome of the visit.

Sassy Update

The vet's office called me yesterday. The tech didn't make it sound real urgent so I meet with the vet Monday am. Thursday was a good day for Sassy. Yesterday a whole different story. She ate almost nothing, no matter what I offered her. I had put her back on my bed. Last night I went in to check on her and was terrified at what I saw. She looked lifeless, her head in an odd position, her tongue hanging way out and her eyes were in the east-west position, going the opposite direction from each other ( she did the same thing last Friday night only I was holding her at the time). I called her name and she didn't respond. I thought she had died and I wasn't with her when it happened. I picked up her limp body and she came around. It must have just happened. Her breathing was shallow during the night and thought she might go anytime. Nope, didn't happen. She went outside this morning and tinkled. I cut up some chicken for her, she ate a smidgeon, drank water and has been walking around, checking out the other dog food bowls. I sure hope the vet has an answer for me about what to do. One day at a time for now.

On the other hand, today is a gorgeous day outside with a nice cool breeze. Turned off the AC and opened the windows for the fresh air. I think the dogs and I will be out in the yard today with all the birds singing and bees buzzing about and enjoying a beautiful spring day! It will keep my mind off her problems and she likes to lay in the sun and be warm.

A Beautiful Give Away

I am trying my hand at this. Suzanne over at justanotherhangup.blogspot.com is having a give away. I haven't learned how to link a website so you have to go there yourself. She sews the cutest bags you have ever seen. Beautiful fabrics, many styles, look really well made and sturdy. My favorite is the Chocolatey Swirl tote. I love all the things she has in her Etsy shop. She make the cutest totes for little girls. Suzanne calls them Lil' Girl Cupcakes. If my daughter, Meagan, was still little, I would definitely be getting her one. Tell her Becky at sassydog23 sent you! Thanks and good luck!!

Today is Wednesday. No word from the vet's office. I called them for at least an hour and kept getting their voice mail. I left a message and no one called me back. They may have closed early today. I'm guessing the results didn't come back this morning since we did it so late Monday. He had to send it out to a lab. Sassy is drinking, but I'm having a very hard time getting her to eat. I have been giving her the nutrient gel twice a day. She just wants to be cuddled in my arms. I talk to her softly and tell her how much I love her. When she is sleeping with me, I check her often throughout the night.

This all I have for now. Thanks again for thinking of us. Much love to all of you!

Waiting for God

Not much good news at the vet's yesterday. He said she didn't look well, she was dehydrated, not responsive, weak. Could be liver failure, kidney failure or who knows what. It possibly could be something treatable but I think he was trying to make me feel better. I'm waiting on the results from a geriatric profile bloodwork. May be back today or Wednesday. She drinks water, not sure why dehydrated. Her skin has no elasticity, due to being dehydrated. I think it is loose skin cause she has lost weight. She weighed 2.47 lbs, she is so very tiny. I have been giving her Nutracal, a thick gooey paste with lots of vitamins, nutrients and minerals by mouth with a syringe. I gave her some molasses, for the iron, last night and she did eat a little bit of hamburger. She did drink from the bowl but have been giving her extra water with a dropper. He told me to offer her anything that she might eat. I told him that is what I have been doing. She sleeps with me, right in the crook of my arm and either rests her head on my hand or the pillow close to my face. She is the sweetest little girl I have ever known. Right now I'm just waiting. I really think I am waiting for God to help her slip away quietly while she's sleeping in my loving arms. Thank you for all the warm thoughts.

Will update later, when I know more.

It's Raining in Lakeland!

The forecast was rain today for most of the day. Yahoo!!! It is actually wetting the ground and the plants and everything else!!! You can almost hear the plants yelling out for more! It is a good day to catch up on sleeping or reading, I'm behind on both. It's dark and thunder booms once in awhile. I can take the thunder but not lightning. Two of my dogs go berserk ove the crackling of lightning. Blitz, my big boy boxer, has turned his crate upside down several times before and manages to get out. Loud booming noises freak him out. I finally got him meds to calm his fears, now he sleeps thru it.

Today would be a good soup day, I should have bought ingredients when I was at Publix last night. Instead I bought dog food, chicken livers, beef liver and pizza. The liver is for my tiny chihuahua. I'm trying to coax her to eat something, anything. Extremely picky eater! She weighs about 2+3/4 lbs on a good day but has lost weight recently which she can't afford to lose weight. She is having some type of seizure more frequently. I'm taking her to the vet tomorrow to see what he has to say. If he thinks she is suffering and no room for improvement, I will put her down most likely. She will be 9 in June. She is a teacup and they usually don't make it past 3, so I'm very blessed to have had her this long. I hope he can help her with medication. She ate a tiny bit of cooked liver last night but not interested this morning. Will try again a little later.

I passed the civil service test with an 84, I took it on March 10th. I took another test this past Thursday the 26th. Will be a week or so before I get the results. These are required for jobs at the City of Lakeland.

The podiatrist's nurse discharged me this past Tuesday. The toe is good to go as far as she is concerned. Will be about 6 weeks to look halfway normal. Then I can polish the skin. I'm thinking about a Lee Press On nail for it. Do you think that would hurt?? It's not like I would be using Super Glue!! I'm going to sleep on it for now. Happy Siesta!!

Besides that, there is an infomercial on the TV about internal cleansing and I don't want to hear that at lunchtime!! TATA for now!!!

Friday's Funny

To Be 6 Again...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a bigsmile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?' Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong!

Have a restful weekend! At first I thought he got it really wrong, but now after much consideration, that does sound like a real fun time to me! But they do get it wrong sometimes!

A.A.A.D.D.

I received this in an e-mail and it pretty much describes some of the days I'm starting to have. Just add my daughter and the 6 dogs and 5 cats and I can get really confused. How about ya'll?

AAADD

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.Somehow I feel better even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you, YOUR DAY IS COMING!!

Friday's Funny

Today is a day to celebrate. Spring arrived this morning, Friday, March 20, 2009 at 744am. I will be missing the much cooler weather as I live in Florida. I am not looking forward to the very humid, sticky, sweaty, extremely sunny, no rain for days, dry days of summer and you have to wear sunglasses 14 or more hours a day or you will burn out your corneas! Basically have them on the nightstand and put them on before your feet hit the floor in the morning and let them be the last thing you take off at night!!

AND let's not forget the gianormous electric bills as we have some of the highest in the state thanks to Lakeland Electric, and probably the nation! I'd like to shoot Benjamin Franklin for inventing Daylight Savings Time. The AC just has to run longer, course he most likely didn't have AC way back when! I even go to the grocery at night when the sun has gone down!

The birds will be singing, the flowers will be blooming and all the pollen from the oak trees has gone somewhere. I am so glad I don't have allergies!! And the snowbirds will be headed back north! Being from the deep south, ya know I had to say that or I wouldn't be living up to my moniker of Florida cracker but I prefer Southern Belle with genuine southern drawl!! Just kidding about the snowbirds, they don't bother me as I am half yankee, unless they are on my side of the one way street going the opposite direction!!

Today's Friday Funny ****When I'm broke, I'm broke!!!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.
'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well, let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning!!!!

Have a terrific week-end everybody out there in blogland!! Love you girls!!!