Thursday, April 30, 2009

Sassy update

I have an update on my little Sassy. Her appetite has picked up tremendously, simply amazing! She wanders into the kitchen to see what I'm fixing for her. The antibiotics seem to have made her feel so much better. She is still a little wobbly, I think that is due to neurological damage from the little seizures. At this very moment she is gobbling up Solid Gold Wee Bit dry food, made with fresh bison and other good stuff for her. She usually has hamburger a little on the rare side or fully cooked chicken cut up in tiny bites, no rare chicken for me or my animals. I tried baby food and she wanted no part of that stuff. She did like the canned cat food liver and chicken. Her ribs don't seem to be showing anymore. Her little tail wags all the time. I need to weigh her on a digital scale to see how many ounces she has gained. Due to my wonderful, loving 24 hour care I think she is on the mend and will be with me for a little while longer. Many thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers!!

Florida is really starting to warm up very quickly. The mornings are still cool but after luch it gets a little sticky. I am really going to miss the cooler weather.

Meagan, my daughter, works at the Covenant Presbyterian Child Development Center. One of the little boys, Kade, brought her a gorgeous bouquet of store bought spring flowers today with a note attached with a hand drawn heart and he signed his name in 4 year old writing. All those kids really love her! That made her day!

Haven't been able to see much of Libby, saw her last Thursday, maybe next week will be better. I'm having car trouble again so I'm pretty much limited to where I can go.

TATA for now!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Cheaper Health Care

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include"Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Interesting News Item...NOT

This was in the news the other day. Have you ever heard of this lake ?? They say it has been spelled several different ways over the years.

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchaugg-agoggchaubunagungamaugg

Who knows how to pronounce this and where is it located!!

It is located in Webster, Massachusetts and is called Lake Webster for short.

Do you think it is the correct spelling? Do you really care?? Neither do I!!

Now you learned something new today, is it significant....... NO!!

The Hazards of Hunting

This was just too funny not to share with you.

He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged ... shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.'Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot...
'What's the bad news?' asked the hunter.
'The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister.
''Well I guess that isn't too bad,' the hunter replied. 'Is your sister a plastic surgeon?
''Not exactly.' answered the doctor. 'She's a flute player in the Syracuse Symphony. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye.'

Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday's funny

I needed a laugh this morning and here is what my dear friend sent me.

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,"Father, what causes arthritis?
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Go read this!!

Head on over to Meagan's blog, http://www.themooseclub.blogspot.com/. Please remember I am blog challenged so I can't just type here for you to go to. She has a new post finally about our other boxer. We had him several years ago and now he waits for us at The Bridge. He was a beautiful brindle and had the best personality. All boxers have great personalities and are big kids til their dying day. A great tribute to Chancer. I am always calling Blitz, the boxer we have now, Chancer. They are alike in so many ways!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Been there, Done that

The Naked Truth..... and here it is!!!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors.
Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.
You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.
In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"
Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time).
That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted.
You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, Always Lifts You Up, Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I needed a laugh today

I'm off to the vet to get antibiotics for Sassy. I'm going to try that before doing anything else. Her WBC was high indicating infection somewhere so if it will help her I'm going to try. She is eating somewhat better, still weak though. I am also considering the seizure medicine. It's possible she has some brain damage due to the small seizures. I just don't what to do. She has good days and not so good days. She is alert and knows who I am and aware of her surroundings. The tech recommended I try Science Diet A/D full of iron and vitamins, used for very ill dogs such as after surgery or being hit by a car. On a much lighter note, read on below.

Vaseline Survey:

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?'
She says, 'Yes, my husband and I use it all the time.'
'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
'We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all... We put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'

And you thought it was going to be a dirty joke! Shame on you!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

To get your week started

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says - something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go a long.
3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr- Alt- Delete' and start all over?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called 'labor!'
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Ponderisms:
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

But Most Of All, Remember!
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has
become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny,and he is DEAD . The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of
the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," ! he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."
The blonde says,"Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.
The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands,"What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny ?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..Are you ready for this? Are you sure? You know you're gonna be sorry. Last chance!!OK, here it is..........you asked for it....


It says, Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.

Happy Easter!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Telephone trouble

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning......thought you'd like to know.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Speaking from experience

Becky here, as I speak from my very own personal experience, this could easily be my story. I even did electroloysis, drank several beers and took about 4 Tylenol before I went to see Doreen for this procedure. In the end I found Stella, the wonderful Colombian woman who is not only my hair stylist but my personal waxer and friend, all in one! It was embarassing the first time but after that, it was a breeze! BTW, The Epilady is a medieval torture device, trust me!!

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.Read on..........

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.(YA THINK!?!)So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.("Cold wax,yeah...right!") I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad I can do this!Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. SEALED SHUT!!!!MY BUTT IS SEALED SHUT!SEALED SHUT!!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself " Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???WRONG!!!!!!!******I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter......"So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!!I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE....... ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color.....

Monday, April 6, 2009

I want you to meet Sassy



This is my little darling, Sassy. All 2.44 lbs of her. Meagan took this photo today Monday afternoon. She is laying on my chest. Today's talk with the vet is below in case you haven't heard the latest.. Thanks for all your well wishes, warm, loving thoughts and heartfelt prayers for us. I love each and everyone of you! God Bless you!
Becky and the gang

A decison to make

I dreaded going to the Vet this morning. I took Sassy with me. I met with the Vet and he went over the results with me. Her kidneys are normal, liver normal, white blood count is high probably due to her cold or maybe a bad tooth, all the other tests seem to be pretty normal too. He thinks it is her heart, not pumping enough to circulate thru her body. He can give her an antibiotic for the infection, he can give her meds for the epilepsy/ seizures but can't fix her heart. I have to look at her quality of life and she basically has none. She wants to be in my arms all the time, the tech said it was the comfort I give her. The vet said I have to think about my quality of life too. I could spend oodles of money and still not be able to make her well, like the former Sassy. I have a big decision to make and know what I need to do. This should be cut and dried. I shouldn't have to think about it, she is suffering but not in pain. I just love that little dog so much! I'm still praying she will go without the vet's intervention. I don't want her to die in a stranger's hands. I'm going to ask if I can hold her while he administers the dose. Some vets don't allow this. Maybe I'm not strong enough for that either.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Meagan and Moose

Meagan, my daughter, has a jumped on the bandwagon and started a new blog. Please visit the antics of Meagan and her dog, Moose, at http://www.themooseclub.blogspot.com/. She has taken photos of her dog but won't take any photos of my dogs for me. Moose is one wild and crazy dog! I think he ate my bar of handmade doggie soap that I paid $5.00 for. It was on the window ledge and I opened the window and heard something fall, not even thinking about that bar of soap. Well now I can't find the soap. So if I see him blowing bubbles out his butt, I will know where it went! Or any of the dogs blowing bubbles for that matter, but Moose is the only one goofy enough to eat soap!

I meet the Vet at 11am Monday. Will let you know the outcome of the visit.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Sassy Update

The vet's office called me yesterday. The tech didn't make it sound real urgent so I meet with the vet Monday am. Thursday was a good day for Sassy. Yesterday a whole different story. She ate almost nothing, no matter what I offered her. I had put her back on my bed. Last night I went in to check on her and was terrified at what I saw. She looked lifeless, her head in an odd position, her tongue hanging way out and her eyes were in the east-west position, going the opposite direction from each other ( she did the same thing last Friday night only I was holding her at the time). I called her name and she didn't respond. I thought she had died and I wasn't with her when it happened. I picked up her limp body and she came around. It must have just happened. Her breathing was shallow during the night and thought she might go anytime. Nope, didn't happen. She went outside this morning and tinkled. I cut up some chicken for her, she ate a smidgeon, drank water and has been walking around, checking out the other dog food bowls. I sure hope the vet has an answer for me about what to do. One day at a time for now.

On the other hand, today is a gorgeous day outside with a nice cool breeze. Turned off the AC and opened the windows for the fresh air. I think the dogs and I will be out in the yard today with all the birds singing and bees buzzing about and enjoying a beautiful spring day! It will keep my mind off her problems and she likes to lay in the sun and be warm.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Beautiful Give Away

I am trying my hand at this. Suzanne over at justanotherhangup.blogspot.com is having a give away. I haven't learned how to link a website so you have to go there yourself. She sews the cutest bags you have ever seen. Beautiful fabrics, many styles, look really well made and sturdy. My favorite is the Chocolatey Swirl tote. I love all the things she has in her Etsy shop. She make the cutest totes for little girls. Suzanne calls them Lil' Girl Cupcakes. If my daughter, Meagan, was still little, I would definitely be getting her one. Tell her Becky at sassydog23 sent you! Thanks and good luck!!
Today is Wednesday. No word from the vet's office. I called them for at least an hour and kept getting their voice mail. I left a message and no one called me back. They may have closed early today. I'm guessing the results didn't come back this morning since we did it so late Monday. He had to send it out to a lab. Sassy is drinking, but I'm having a very hard time getting her to eat. I have been giving her the nutrient gel twice a day. She just wants to be cuddled in my arms. I talk to her softly and tell her how much I love her. When she is sleeping with me, I check her often throughout the night.

This all I have for now. Thanks again for thinking of us. Much love to all of you!