The Podiatrist and a Funny

Monday aftenoon I had my first ever appointment with a podiatrist. My big toe on my right foot had an ingrown nail that I couldn't make better. So I bit the bullet and made an appointment. I was scared about what he might do and I didn't want any pain. He more or less said it needed to come off! The numbing up of my toe was the worst part but did not know that it would be at the time. I had to hold the nurse's hand while the doctor numbed my toe. My hands were so sweaty and I squeezed her hand.

My daughter took me there and was waiting in the lobby. She came back to see how much longer I would be. She wanted to go to the car and take a nap but she decided to stay and hold my hand. I told her they hadn't even started yet, we were just waiting for my toe to get really numb. Meagan said my toe looked like a Frankenstein toe, it was red and had 2 holes in it with some blood. I glanced down there and felt nauseous, the nurse brought me wet paper towels for my forehead. The nurse pinched my toe and poked it with something sharp. I felt nothing. We were ready to proceed. I was laid all the way back in the chair. The doctor came in and in no time the nail was off. Meagan watched the whole thing and the she felt woozy, me too! He treated it with something to keep it from growing back so I will just paint the skin with polish. I go back in a week for the nurse to check it. You can't imagine how much gauze bandaging I have on my toe. A little sock over that and then a big footie with grips on the bottom over that. No way can I wear a shoe. In a couple days I remove the bandage, put on wound gel and cover with gauze and a big band-aid. This was not a fun procedure. He thinks I must have damaged my nail at some point in time, cause I always trimmed them straight across so this WOULDN'T happen!

By the way, Libby called me several times to make sure I didn't back out and cancel the appointment since I was seriously thinking about it. I have been through a lot of surgeries but it really bothered me about my toe. I didn't want to hear digging around down there. I didn't hear a thing, it all came out in one piece. Looked like a big artificial nail with a little blood underneath! The nurse asked me if I wanted to take it home. I said No thanks !! Meagan wanted to take it to her day care job and show the kids! We left it in the trashcan!!

IT'S HELL GETTING OLD!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count aspart of his physical exam.The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office andgave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it'slike this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I triedwith my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, thenwith her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with theteeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, firstwith both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' itbetween her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'