Stranger than fiction

Today I took Libby (Neas Nuttiness) to the Winter Haven Hospital for her EKG. Then we had to drive a few blocks across the way to LabCorp for her labs. This is her pre-op stuff before her knee surgery. Then we stopped by the Goodwill and found some real treasures! Of course we were starving all the morning cause she had to have fasting labwork. I didn't eat before I left home cause I wanted to be hungry with Libby, like sympathy pains! Our next destination was Olive Garden. We had a yummy lunch, the soup, salad and breadsticks with a side of alfredo sauce to dip the bread in. Absolutely delicious!!

Somewhere along the way we were talking about New Orleans. I told her I had been there in 1980 maybe. You know how she told about her dad being married to her husband's mother. I have one that tops that. I had a roommate when I first bought my house. I was 27 and dated her 55 yr old father. The 3 of us went on vacation together to Texas and on the way home we went to New Orleans. Weird huh?? But it gets better. In the meantime I met someone else and ended it with her dad. I got married to the new guy in 1982. We divorced in 1994 and now my ex is married to my former roommate's sister who was our daughter's babysitter. She was married at the time to another man for 27 years and had 5 children. Still following??? Guess why we divorced?? So now my ex-manfriend is now my ex-husband's father in law, my ex-husband's OLD new wife is now our daughter's step-mother and my roommate is her step-aunt if there is such a thing. I did not steal this from a Jerry Springer show but well could have. This is not made up. Honest Injun!!

The New Priest

I have read this many times before but it still makes me laugh to this day! Hope you enjoy this funny on Monday! Most of all I pray this does not offend anyone.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4)Jesus was consecrated,not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me"

12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Worth Sharing

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden." "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can." "Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it! And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today..........I will .

Elegant Inaugural Luncheon

As I was watching the new President and all the guests being seated for the luncheon in the Statuary Hall I was very curious what they would be dining on. I googled it and it is listed below.


Lunch Menu

After being sworn in watched by millions, Obama will enjoy a relatively secluded lunch with around 200 congressional leaders, Supreme Court justices and members of his incoming cabinet.
Once again, the 44th US president has opted to evoke the spirit of his political idol Abraham Lincoln, serving the seafood, game and root vegetables he liked best on replicas of his White House china.

Guests will begin their meal with a seafood stew of scallops, prawns and lobster with a puff pastry top, washed down with a 2007 Sauvignon Blanc from Duckhorn Vineyards in California’s Napa Valley.

Following on will be a brace of American birds: duck breast with sour cherry chutney and herb roasted pheasant with wild rice stuffing accompanied by Molasses-whipped sweet potatoes and winter vegetables. Another Californian wine, a 2005 Goldeneye Pinot Noir from the Anderson Valley, will be served alongside.

The desert will be cinnamon apple sponge cake and sweet cream glace, during which guests will be invited to toast their new leader with some a Korbel Natural “Special Inauguration Curvee” California Champagne, 18 magnum cases of which have been dispatched to the White House for the occasion.


Sounds delicious don't you think!!

Now on the other hand this single President really knew how to PARTY! Look at his menu.

James Buchanan, the only bachelor president, really knew how to party. At his inaugural celebration in 1857, guests were served 400 gallons of oysters, 500 quarts of chicken salad, 500 quarts of jellies, 1,200 quarts of ice cream, eight rounds of beef, 75 hams, 60 saddles of mutton and four of venison. Buchanan hired Charles Gautier, a French caterer and chocolatier, to handle the preparations.

What do you think these dinners cost??

Took the quiz

Your Word is "Peace"

You see life as precious, and you wish everyone was safe, happy, and taken care of.Social justice, human rights, and peace for all nations are all important to you.While you can't stop war, you try to be as calm and compassionate as possible in your everyday life.You promote harmony and cooperation. You're always willing to meet someone a little more than halfway.

The above is my word Peace. That is so much like me. I took the word quiz that Neas Nuttiness suggested on her blog from Chele's blog.

We have another cold front coming thru tonight bringing rain and more chilly weather for the week. I am going to make corn chowder for this bout of cold weather. I have been wanting that since I read Queenie talking about it on her blog. I found several yummy recipes on Google.

Have a good week and for those of you in the cold weather stay warm.

Baby' it's cold outside

The thermostat says 52 in the house. Last night the dogs and I were under all kinds of blankets and I still had the fan on. I have to have that noise plus I like to have air blowing on my face. And yes, I know I am crazy, just ask the dogs. I refuse to turn on the heat as gas is so expensive. What isn't anymore!! My aunt in New Hampshire says their heating bill is out of this world. The wind is blowing outside today and it seems that much colder . It is 58 outside but can't prove it by me. The sun feels great on your skin. The dogs are out basking in the sun since it is so cold inside. I put a doggie t-shirt on Blitz the boxer Wednesday night and he was out of it in less than 30 minutes. I am going to buy him a smaller size like a child's large. He shouldn't be able to wiggle out of that! On the other hand he is also known as Houdini. You should see his old crate and you will know what I am talking about. Looks like a gorilla escaped from it. One day I will post a picture of it when I can get Meagan to help me. I don't have a digital camera much less know how to put pics on my blog. Meagan will have to help me with that too. I think I am going out in the sun for about 20 minutes to thaw out and get my daily dose of all natural vitamin D. I haven't dressed for the day yet so I will be wearing Crocs, black ankle socks, my bunny nightshirt and thick blue terry robe. What a sight! But I will be warm and toasty!! Ask me if I care what the neighbors may think. Nope, not in the slightest. Have a great week-end!

WOO HOO WOO HOO !!!!!

Hooray! Hooray! My daughter started college today January 8,2009. She is going to Polk Community College, Lakeland Campus, in the city of Lakeland, in the county of Polk, in the state of Florida. I am so happy and so proud! She wants to be an early childhood education teacher at the moment. Later she wants to be an art therapist helping sick children. She loves working with small children and boy, howdy, do they ever love her. When I pick her up from work, they all run over to the fence to hug her goodbye. Then they all yell " Bye, Miss Meagan". She works at Covenant Presbyterian Child Development Center. Just wanted to share this with everyone I know in blogworld. She just got home and already has a book report due!!

The List for 2008

Did your pet's name make the list? Mine didn't!! My dogs are Blitz, Cosmo, Diesel, Elvis, Fuji, and Sassy. The cats are Bijou, Elmo,Taz, Jack, Tiger Lily, and Sasha. I love the names of my pets !

Top names for dogs for 2008
1. Max
2. Bailey
3. Bella
4. Molly
5. Lucy
6. Buddy
7. Maggie
8. Daisy
9. Sophie
10. Chloe


Most unusual names for dogs for 2008

1. Rush Limbark
2. Sirius Lee Handsome
3. Rafikikadiki
4. Low Jack
5. Meatwad
6. Peanut Wigglebutt
7. Scuddles Unterfuss
8. Sophie Touch & Pee
9. Admiral Toot
10. Spatula

Top names of cats for 2008
1. Max
2. Chloe
3. Tigger
4. Tiger
5. Lucy
6. Smokey
7. Oliver
8. Bella
9. Shadow
10. Charlie

Most unusual names for cats for 2008
1. Edward Scissorpaws
2. Sir Lix-a-lot
3. Optimus Prrrime
4. Buddah Pest
5. Snoop Kitty Kitty
6. Miss Fuzzbutt
7. 80 Bucks
8. Sparklemonkey
9. Rosie Posie Prozac
10. Toot Uncommon

A Way To Save Precious Lives

I thought this might be very useful info since not everyone knows the signs of a stroke. In August 1998 my mother was talking gibberish, nothing made any since and I knew right away she was having a stroke. I called 911 and she was taken by ambulance to the ER. I don't know how long she had been having the stroke. It could have happened earlier in the day. Unfortunately they weren't able to reverse her condition. I don't know if they even administered the drug that could have helped her in the first 3 hours of the stroke. She passed away March 29, 2003, just 4 days after her 75th birthday. I miss her terribly. I hope this is helpful to you!


Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue

STROKE: Remember the 1st Three Letters....S.T.R.STROKE IDENTIFICATION

It only takes a minute to read this...A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)(i.e. It is sunny out today)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke

Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this:

Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.

Maybe you can pass this on to others in your circle and precious lives will be saved!